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Sam Sinister interviews himself.

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by: Sam Sinister
New Castle, PA

So how are you?


Good. I mean fine.



Awesome. I'm going to ask you a series of questions, and I want you to answer them immediately.


Fine. I mean fine.



Okay. Here goes... tell me what the word "punk" means to you.


That's not a question. But okay. Punk, to me is a couple things. First, it's the greatest music ever created, it's raw, simple, not overly intricate or flashy. It's rock and roll stripped down to it's bare fucking bones. Like a loud, fast, snotty, noisey ripoff of Little Richard or Chuck Berry. The Ramones, The Pistols, Johnny Thunders, AC/DC... stuff like that. All the good old 70's rock & roll, it's a pisstake on glam, or a buncha amateurs with guitars trying to play brit invasion crap. Some asshole with a snare drum, banging on it and yelling idiotic phrases like, "I fucked up" or "My mommy's a slut" or things of that nature. It can mean alot of things to different people. It's celebrating unsophisticated shit. It's tackiness. It's taking all your shortcomings and advertising them. Not necessarily trying to be different, but not really giving a shit if you are. Not apollogizing for being a complete fuckup.
I think as far as ideals go, one universal thing that's "punk rock" is being genuine and real, not pulling any punches, not being afraid to speak your mind, and having some sense of integrity. Plus, I think somewhere in the dictionary it says "Someone who takes it in the ass".



How do you feel about celebrity culture?


You mean gossip mags and Entertainment Tonight and all that? if you're into that kinda shit, fine. I really couldn't care less what movie stars are doing, or who's dating who or which celebrity's baby was born with a third eye, or what have you. I think most celebrities are a buncha whiney, self-centered, spoiled little crybabies with too much money and not enough class or decency to know what to do with it. I can't stand reality shows, for the most part. i guess it's funny to see what would happen if you shacked up Uncle Jesse with MC Hammer and threw some wrenches into the gears, but most of these programs are just showcases for idiotic douchbags who fight about petty bullshit while speaking in a language usually reserved for 13-year-old girls who live in southern California. If that's what you call entertainment, whatever.



What about fashion?


I like clothes as much as the next person, but what it comes down to is, the purpose of wearing clothes for me is staying warm in the winter and not getting arrested in the summer. Alot of times though, when you buy designer clothes or shop at malls or whatever, you're paying $20 dollars for the shirt, plus an additional 60 for the name that's imprinted on it. I don't know the exact figures, but it's probably close to that. I've bought clothes at K-Mart and then seen pretty much the exact same thing at the mall for over twice as much money. It's rediculous. And it's so competetive! I think alot of people gotta make sure their clothes are up-to-date with what's hip and trendy so they don't feel like they're behind the times compared to the rest of the world. I like being behind the times. I'm not gonna get ripped off like the rest of 'em. I don't really understand this need to stay current...



How about consumerism?


Well, it took me almost 3 years after DVD players became common for me to actually get one. In fact, I think my first one was a Christmas present from my dad. I feel pretty much the same way about it as I do about fashion (see above). Also, I think too many people are shopping for fun. It's a pasttime!! Like baseball, or drinking. Look at half these people's fucking MySpace profiles, under hobbies they got "shopping". I think of shopping as a way to retrieve things I need. Sometimes I buy things I want, for recreation, but it better be worth the fucking money and time I put into getting it. I think shopping is more of a hassle than a good time. i dunno, maybe it's because I'm male. You know, hunter-gatherer mentality. But as far as buying the newest gadgit as soon as it comes out, you can count me out.



Why are you "working class"?


I was born working class, I'll most assuredly die working class. I could never spend my days in an office somewhere. I get great satisfaction in completing a task, especially one that took some time and effort. I put in about 38 - 55 hours a week, layoffs aside, and I'm proud of that. I have this driving need to stand on my own two feet, probably so no one can hold jack shit over my head, and I'll accept a hand-out every so often, but I always eventually return the favor. I never ask for anything unless it's absolutely fucking necessary. Most times I go without just so I don't have to beg anyone for nothin'.



Are you political?


Nah, not really. There's things I believe strongly in, but I'm so out of the fucking loop with what's goin' on in the goverment, and the world at large, and I probably always will be. 'Cause I get too distracted with my own little world. That, and I don't always understand all the issues, so for the most part I just stay out of all the political discussions and shit. It's too much to take in, and it seems like you have to take it all in at once, which for me just seems impossible. So fuck it.



What are your feelings on racism?


Racist biggots can suck a dick. I always feel conflicted when I find out that someone I know, who's perfectly fine otherwise, is a hatemonger. 'Cause I feel people have a right to their opinion, you know? But as far as people spreading their stupid shit in a mass-media format, or having rallies, or any of that? Fuck that. And anyone who physically attacks someone else based on the color of their skin or what they look like deserves to get the living shit beat out of 'em, too. That includes whites beating on blacks, and blacks beating on whites, too. Fuck that shit. And everyone else in between. Racism is racism, no matter who it's comin' from. Fuck this term "reverse racism", too. It is what it is. Forget the source.
I think all neo-nazi bonehead assholes who get attacked at shows, I say good for 'em. If you got the balls to wear your hate on your sleeve, you should have the balls to get your ass kicked every so often, too. I don't know if I could do it, but to those who can, more power. I'm not sure violence is in my nature. i haven't really been pushed that far too many times. I'm sure if one of my "non-white" friends were being bullied at a show it'd be a much different story.



What about racial slurs?


This one's kinda complicated. Well, not really. I'm not really a PC kinda guy, but I think some of these words, in particular "the N word", have little to no use in a person's vocabulary, especially since these words are typically associated and coupled with racist violence. there's the argument that, "Well, yeah, but I don't use that word to mean black people, just the ones that blah blah blah." Or, "There's white niggers too..." Spare me your cop-out rhetoric. You just don't wanna eliminate the word from your vocabulary for one reason or another. There's much better and accurate words you could use to describe someone who's, "lazy", "dirty", "ignorant", "stupid", or any of the thousands of other bullshit definitions you want to give the word, none of which have ties to slavery, the KKK, or have etymological roots in the word negro, which means "black" in Spanish and Portugese, or niger in Latin. Oh, and by the way: Black people, stop using it. I know you wanna reclaim the word or whatever, but the double-standard is wearing a bit thin. If we can't use it, neither should you. Just one opinion.



If you could have a crest, with symbols representing all the things you believe in, what would they be?


All the things I idealize... hmm. I guess I'd say love, integrity, justice (eye-for-an-eye), comedy, honesty, and pride. Among other things.



Alright, Sam, thank you for my time.


I'm welcome.

Disagree? WRITE YER OWN!!! Send all ramblings, grumblings, and all otherwise witty and/or shitty viewpoints to artless.nonculture@gmail.com.

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