OH NO!!! IT'S...

"The Black Hole Gunnary's Top 7 Bands You Don't Know About But Should"
by Black Hole Gunnary (that's me!)

First off, let me say this list is not for everyone. You might not like everything on it, but then again, you might discover a jewel of modern music. Now, before I send you through my antenna to another dimension, be warned: This list is made up Rock and Roll, pure, simple, fast, raw, and... good. These bands will, and I mean WILL blow your mind!

Emo kids!!! Run for cover to your blankets...

Rappers!!! Get ready for some REAL music about the street...

Pop kids!!! Get ready to be knocked off your butts, and metalheads, shave the mullet, NOW.

So get ready, for these are the rebel sounds that the radio, your mom, and the record companies DO NOT want you to hear.

You have been forewarned.

1. The Saints
Quite simply the most underrated band of all time. Formed in 1976, the Saints were contemporaries of such bands as Radio Birdman and the Hot Spurs. These guys were not your normal punk band, but something better. The first thing that set them apart from other punk bands of the time was that they're from Australia, YES, the same place that The Vines, kowolas, and Fosters are from. The Saints developed completely independent of the American and British punk communities, taking more from the Nuggets' album than from street life. The Saints played the music the Ramones wanted to play. They strived to recapture the sound of 60s garage rock bands, such as the Kingsmen (they did Louie Louie), and capture it they did (and then some!).

The Saints' first record, "(Im) Stranded", is equal to, if not better than, the Ramones' first album. Filled with great guitar riffs and hooks, the Saints sung about girls, alienation, and robots. The following albums, though not as popular, were much more influential.

The Saints have influenced bands such as The Hives, whose Pelle Amquest openly calls the Saints his favorite band, and Rocket From The Crypt.

2. Johnny Thunders' Heartbreakers
Have you ever listened to the Sex Pistols? Yes? Well then Im sorry. You've been exposed to a group of posers and wannabes. Did I offend you Mr./Mrs. Sex Pistols fan? Good.

The Heartbreakers are the combination of two of the greatest bands of all time, The New York Dolls and Television. Their respective frontmen, the Dolls' Johnny Thunders, and Television's Richard Hell are who [the Pistols'] Johnny Rotten and Sid Vicious wanted to be.

(ED. NOTE: The Dolls' frontman was David Johannsen. Not Thunders. Thunders was the guitarist. Steve Jones of the Pistols was more of a Johnny Thunders wannabe than Rotten was. Rotten was the one copying Richard Hell, from the torn clothes to the glazey-eyed stare. Sid Vicious copied Dee Dee Ramone. Sorry to sound like a know-it-all. -SS)

The Heartbreakers are the most respected punk band in the world. What's that? Youve never heard of them? Well that's because they only recorded 3 albums, 1 studio, 2 live. But they played a lot of live shows. So why do they have so few albums? The answer is drugs. Hell left the band after the first live album, and Thunder's heroin habit ended up killing him and the band died. SO DON'T DO DRUGS, they're not cool.

3. Mission of Burma
Mission of Burma are the Beatles of the avant-garde rock movement. In the 1980s punk had died, and "post-punk" had just started to rise. The avant-garde music scene was dying. So in stepped Mission of Burma to unite the two.

Burma took the sound of punk (hard, fast, and loud), and the complexity of avant-garde rock, and combined them, taking it to a new level. Burma made it OK for punks to play more than just three chords, and experiment with punk as an artform. They resurrected the avant-garde movement. Theyve influenced everyone from Sonic Youth (the new kings) to Moby to REM.

4. Rocket From The Crypt
Rocket is as good as it gets in today's musical world. These guys ROCK, plain and simple! Their discography is the largest Ive ever seen. With 28 EP's, 5", 7", and LP's and more on the way, Rocket From the Crypt is one of the most amazing bands ever. These guys take punk to the next level. Taking the standard 2 guitars, bass, and drums and adding a saxophone and a trumpet to the mix, Rocket steps it up a whole 11 notches. Dedicated to their music, Rocket are uncompromising, both in their music and careers. They're truly original, and there are NO comparisons. These guys are the true kings of underground Rock and Roll, and if you don't know them, you don't know what music can be. Rocket takes from all types of bands, from the 70s punks, to the 50s and 60s garage, to soul, to well, EVERYTHING!! You can't get better than Rocket!! So go buy their records and support this band with all your $$$, I know I do. 7 albums and counting. You know what, Im going to go drive the hour to Lou's Records in San Diego and buy all the Rocket albums they have. See ya.

5. The Real Kids
Ok, Im back, Rocket album count 9, now on to the Real Kids, these guys rock, plain and simple, they are one of the greatest bands of the early '70s. Their songs are perfectly constructed. They're Boston's favorite sons (not Aerosmith, who are proof of what happens when you empower people with bad musical taste). Songs such as "Better Be Good" and "Who Needs You" have inspired a legion of followers and generations of fans. The Real Kids rock harder than your pet rock and the record collection of the entire school combined. So check these rockers out, you will like them. If you don't, well, you're not human and should go back to the planet from where you came.

6. The Nerves
Perfect. Just perfect. There's not much that can beat these guys' music. And the bands that can are listed above. Their record was the holy grail of music for me, until I got it. Now I OWN the grail, sweet!

The Nerves are one of the fathers of the Indie rock movement, putting out their own records and selling them to stores as they went cross country in their van playing shows, I mean, how much more Indie does it get? Hailing from LA, a city that lacks in the good music department, the Nerves have the purest sound ever: drums, bass, and rhythm guitar. So simple, yet so incredibly good! Their biggest song is "Hanging on the Telephone", later covered by Blondie, and became a Top 10 hit, yet the Nerves' version is far superior, trust me, Ive heard it. If you can find this record buy it right then and there, for there are very few of them left. Out of three pressings, the first has only about 1,000 copies left, the second has about 2,000 (I have one of these), and the third is unknown (a french printing). These guys are brilliant and have inspired legions upon legions of bands, so many that I can't even start to list them.

7. Pere Ubu
Pere Ubu are the true masters of Avant-garde Rock, second only to the man himself, Frank "the man" Zappa. These guys paved the way for bands like Mission of Burma and Sonic Youth. They are also the most inaccessible band in the universe. It's even hard for me to listen to. Yes, I know your shocked that your leader, whose advice you accept with out question, has not been able to understand this music yet. Ive listened to their stuff over and over. It's the most confusing thing ever. Pure art, like Worhol or Pollick. But for some odd reason, I like it. I want to be confused. It's fun. It's a pain you want, I crave these sounds, they make me feel smarter, and will make you feel COOL, too. Their sound is indescribible, because it changes every song. Their best songs, a.k.a. the ones you should check out, are "Heat of Darkness", "30 seconds over Tokyo", and their best number "Final Solution". So check these guys out, if you're brave enough.

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